Top Five Reasons why Java is the WORST Programming Language OF ALL TIME

  1. Oracle doesn’t even like you any more. Its a fine language and all, but it seems as if everyone just wants Java to die. Oracle said a few time periods back that they had lost interest in Java so what the hell am I even doing learning it?
  2. I have to press shift a lot. OK Java. We get it. You like the curly braces. Well fuck you, Java. My pinky hurts from all those pairs of {these things} you force me to type. At least the semi colon is sympathetic to the shift key.
  3. It has a confusing name. Why the hell did the people who created Java not call it something distinctive? Why did they have to share their name with the first half of JavaScript? Even if they were both created in the same year, this is outrageous and ridiculous and incredibly confusing for anyone who has failed to look up the difference.
  4. You want me to install McAfee. Ok sure, Oracle, you are clearly in money problems and need to get stupid adverts in your installer but seriously, McAfee? Is that the same software that John McAfee described as one of the worst products on the fucking planet? Yea, thanks, but no thanks.
  5. Java-hate memes are overrated. Its okay to hate Java, but really, if that’s the only defining feature of your personality, something has gone horribly wrong.

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